


Assorted Marvel Headcanons

by POPP_Writing_Group



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers - Freeform, Avengers Headcanons, F/M, Gen, Ice Skating, cute stuff, headcanons, just general cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-26 07:52:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12552732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/POPP_Writing_Group/pseuds/POPP_Writing_Group
Summary: Just some longer-than-average headcanons for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written by: Assorted POPP members

 

Cap decides they need to go out and do things “around the town”, as he puts it.  He has his heart set on doing a big group activity together, so nobody points out to him that they have literally been to almost every country on earth and some of them have even been to other  _ worlds.   _

Tony suggests ice skating.  At first, Cap thinks it's an“ice” joke or an “old-timer” joke, or both, but when he sees that Tony's serious and how interested the others look, he agrees.  

Vision says he doesn't want to go, but won't tell anyone why.  

The whole ride there, Tony tells everyone how he's going to be so much better than them all, because of reasons he declines to explain.  When they get there, however,  he takes one slow lap around the rink and spends the rest of the time in the stands on his phone.  The one time they persuade him to get out and go again, Rhodey somehow convinces him to try propelling himself around with his repulsor rays  _ (I'll do it if you will!).   _ Things go about as well as you might expect they would.  

Natasha ends up being way better than everyone else.  She literally skates circles around Tony and even does a few jaw-dropping figure skater jumps.  She's one of only two people to get figure skates instead of hockey skates.  The other person to get figure skates is Bucky, who ends up being really good as well.  He goes through a routine with Natasha so incredible and graceful you would think they practiced beforehand.  He looks incredibly embarrassed when everybody applauds after and hides in the stands for twenty minutes.

Wanda holds onto Pietro the whole time she's out on the rink and takes baby steps in her skates because she's so afraid of falling.  Cap is glad of this because it keeps Pietro from using his super speed, which he is under express orders not to do.  

“We don't want to pay for a cracked rink, do we?”

Tony, literally flipping through a stack of money behind Cap's back, whispering:   _ “Go for it, kid.” _

Pietro was actually planning on trying it out, but he's more than happy to help Wanda instead, so no incidents happen.

Bruce gets one of the little red kiddy braces and happily slides around on that the whole time.  When Ant-Man sees him, he gets one too.  He tells anyone who laughs at him, “Hey, if the Hulk can do it, I can do it.”

After being told this, Falcon gets one, too.

Thor is a mess.  He can't stand up, he can't stay up when he does, and he certainly can't move.  Cap and Falcon try to help, but he gets increasingly angry each time he falls.

“Thor, just get up slowly. . .”

“I AM GETTING UP SLOWLY!” *Crash* “YOU DARE MOCK THOR, SON OF--”

“Thor, we're not mocking you.”

“Not you!” *Crash* “THE ICE!”

Falcon starts to say, “The ice is mocking you?” but Cap shakes his head.  Thor falls down the last time and summons Mjolnir in a rage.  Cap has to hang onto him bodily to keep him from smashing the ice.  

Clint gets Bucky down from the stands by asking him to show him how to do a figure-skating routine so Clint can try one with Natasha.  Bucky takes him to get figure skates from the front desk.  Clint knows he isn't going to become a master figure skater today or probably any other day, but goes out and tries anyway because Bucky looks so happy to be asked.  Clint ends up learning a very simple routine, and is so pleased with himself that he doesn't do anything else the whole time they're there.

Cap skates super fast and looks like he totally knows what he's doing one second, but is slipping and sliding and falling down in a tangle of limbs the next second.  He repeats this several times and doesn't seem embarrassed at all.  Falcon ends up acting like he needs Cap's help to skate in order to get him to slow down.  

When everyone is tired and ready to leave, Clint takes Natasha out in the center of the rink and performs the routine Bucky taught him with her.  

(Bucky is very proud of him.)

They all go home and find out that Vision's reason for not wanting to go was so that he could surprise them with hot chocolate when they got back.  

Tony is about to say “No, thanks,” when he sees three different people glaring at him and decides to take the drink.  

Vision also has a big container of peppermint sticks for stirring the hot chocolate with.  Natasha loves this and puts around eight in her cup.  

They find out that Bucky hasn't had hot chocolate for seventy years and decide to make his first cup in all that time be the best one he's ever had.  It's so smothered in whipped cream he can barely drink it, but when he looks up from the cup he has the biggest grin they've ever seen on his face.

When everything is gone, Cap says, “Hope you had fun, everybody, 'cause tomorrow we're going to the zoo.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another headcanon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written by: Assorted POPP members

There's a slow day at the Avengers' headquarters, and no one particularly wants to play chess with Vison (he always wins) or do any more training (although Cap's all for it).  When Pietro complains for the fifth time that he's bored, Ant-Man decides to throw all caution to the wind and suggest a game of Capture the Flag.  He's surprised to see that almost everyone is interested in it-- except for Thor, who requires a lengthy explanation of the game, its purpose, the point, and the history of it in general. They decide to use water pistols and water balloons as weapons (much to the confusion of Thor, as Ant-Man had explained it to him using the "tagging" method).

Almost unanimously, they elect Cap and Tony as the captains of the opposite teams  (with a small minority in favor of Ant-Man, since he suggested it).  Cap has a small moment of panic when he's faced with a choice-- should he pick Falcon or Bucky first?  He ends up choosing Falcon, and Bucky is immediately snapped up by Tony (he makes "You're going down, Steve" eyes at him as he goes over to join Tony's side).  Cap picks Natasha next, Tony picks Rhodey, Cap chooses Clint, and Tony picks Vision.  Cap notices that Tony's choosing all the powered people and picks Thor in alarm.  Tony narrows his eyes at him (he wanted Thor) and chooses Ant-Man.  Cap picks Pietro, Tony chooses Spiderman, Cap picks Wanda, and Tony reluctantly chooses Bruce.  They're all sided up, but Tony has a last-minute moment of doubt and offers to trade Bucky for Thor.  Cap realizes that he doesn't really have a choice if he doesn't want to be targeted by an angry Russian assassin and agrees on the condition that there will be limits to how much the players can use their powers.

Tony agrees.  He and Cap go through the players on the opposite teams and give them their limits.   Rhodey and Tony can't use their suits except to fly, Vision can't go transparent, Wanda can't use her powers except to fly, Thor can't use Mjolnir except to fly, Pietro can't use his speed (he is unhappy about this) and Bruce can't Hulk out (he is happy about this).  Tony produces two poles with holographic pennants on the ends to use for flags, they flip a coin to see who gets the back property as territory and who gets the front (Cap gets the front, Tony the back), and the game begins.  

Thor is the first one out.  He charges blindly into the other side's territory, and is immediately eliminated by Bucky, who has to shoot him several times with the water pistol, finally in the face, before Thor realizes that he's out.  He is put in "jail" and is extremely displeased about this.  

Vision doesn't understand the game.  He tries to shoot people in their own terrritory, goes transparent although he's been asked not to, and once caught, won't stay in "jail".  Once he casually flies out for the fourth time, Bucky (who has been elected prison guard) calls a time-out and asks Tony if he'll just take Vision back and what he does won't count since he's technically still out.  Tony sighs and appoints Vision "flag guard" but tells him not to shoot people.  Vision is happy with this and flies around the flag so closely that if anyone put two and two together, they could figure out where the flag is in two seconds.

Tony puts Bruce at one of the entrances as a guard at the beginning of the game, but he ends up falling asleep instead.  They find him still sleeping at the end of the game with grass in his hair, and he asks "which side won" like he wasn't even playing the game in the first place when they wake him up

Cap's side has guards at every entrance, which would have worked really well if Pietro hadn't gotten bored and decided to go and try to get Tony's flag all by himself and promptly gotten caught.  Wanda goes in to get him and gets caught, too.  

(Cap is almost screaming with frustration because  _ they're not sticking to the plan!!) _

Things are going really well for Tony's team until Clint breaks the Maximoffs out of jail and they find out where Tony's flag is.  They get back to their territory with less than a second to spare (even though Tony's right behind them, Clint keeps his hand on Pietro's arm to make sure he doesn't break the rules and use his speed).  When they return, Cap yells at all of them for going in alone and tells all of his teammates that they're only allowed to go in with a partner or in teams of three from now on.  However, this turns out to be just a show for Spiderman, who is spying on them and goes back to tell Tony that Cap's team will be coming in a large group.  Once he's gone, Cap apologizes for yelling (actually, no one thought he was serious except for Spiderman and Wanda) and promptly sends Natasha in alone to get the flag.   

Natasha takes her water pistol even though she wouldn't be able to get anyone out on their own territory-- it's just second nature to her.  She finds the flag right where Clint, Wanda, and Pietro had told her it would be and quietly takes it.  No one notices her.  No one, that is, except for the "flag guard", Vision himself, who is fed up with circling and steals an extra water gun to shoot Natasha.  She doesn't pay attention after the first shock of being shot, knowing Vision is technically out and it doesn't count, but by this time, Peter notices her and starts yelling "Mr. Stark!  Mr. Stark!" repeatedly while trying to shoot her from all the way across the territory.  Nat makes it with the flag to the very edge of Tony's territory before she's shot out by Rhodey, but she drops the flag before she gets shot and it has to stay where it is.  

Clint, who had been waiting at the edge of Cap's territory for Nat to get back, sees the whole thing.  He gets angry and tries to go in and either rescue Natasha or get the flag-- he doesn't know which-- but Ant-Man, Tony, and Spiderman have all congregated around the flag while Rhodey takes Nat to jail and Clint narrowly escapes being caught, too.  He goes back to the other territory and tries to convince Cap to go and rescue Nat, but Cap decides it's more important to get the flag and starts putting together a plan to go get it without being caught.  

Ant-Man shrunk himself during the "no powers" dole-out, and Cap didn't notice him.  Tony is all too willing to accept this technicality, and sends him into Cap's territory to find the flag, and get it if possible.  He makes it into their territory unseen and finds the flag, and is about to go get it when Falcon sees him with his goggles.  He has a moment of indecision-- should he try and get the flag and make a run for it, or escape while he can.  He finally decides to get away, and makes it back to Tony's territory in the nick of time.  He tells his team where the flag is.  

Tony decides he and Rhodey will fly over and steal it, and they do, only to be met in the air by Falcon and Wanda.  Sam gets Rhodey with his water pistols, but Wanda is hopelessly lost with hers and doesn't manage to hit Tony.  She's upset about this, but when Tony says "Well, nice try, Miss Maximoff," and turns to fly back, she gets really angry.  She lands on the roof of the building and starts to pull Tony back into Cap's territory with her powers.  

(Tony starts talking rapidly and reminding her that she can't use her powers, but Wanda is past caring what he says.)

She has almost pulled him into the other side when Clint yells "Wanda. . ." and she immediately lets Tony go.  Tony calls a time-out and argues that she should get some kind of penalty for using her powers against the rules, but Cap and Clint persuade him to drop it.  Tony reluctantly agrees and goes back to his territory.

Rhodey goes to jail with Thor, who is very put out about not being rescued sooner.  

"Maybe now you will appreciate the horrors of languishing, FORGOTTEN, in a filthy jail cell whilst your TEAMMATES PLAY!"

"Okay, Thor. . ."

Bucky, standing nearby and guarding them:  "And you're literally just sitting on the grass. . ."

Thor gets out of prison when Bucky leaves his post to rescue Natasha with Clint (directly against Cap's orders) leaving Spiderman open to sneak in and tag Thor out.  He doesn't manage to get Rhodey out because Falcon and Cap realize what's happening and rush in to try and intercept them.  They narrowly escape and make it back to their territory, only to find their whole team in a frantic effort to stop Bucky, Clint, and Natasha from stealing the flag.  It's all for nothing, though, as the three are very much in their element and evade the shots and water balloons with ease.  Clint grabs the flag from where Nat dropped it, Bucky and Natasha cover his back, and they all run back to Cap's territory and plant it next to their own.

(Thor keeps chasing them and stands there in their territory triumphantly squirting Bucky in the face while shouting, "YOU'RE OUT!  YOU'RE OUT!")

Everyone is very pleased with the game and decides to do it often.  However, it becomes a rule that no one team is allowed to have Clint, Bucky,  _ and  _ Natasha in a game with no powers.

"After all," Tony says, "the playing field has to be even."


End file.
